Back in 1999, Destiny's Child spelled out a dating requirement in a chart-topping chorus. Pay their bills, or there’s no way you can “chill”. It was a blunt and catchy tune, and it perfectly describes a relationship dynamic that is becoming ever-more popular in the 2020s.
While it may seem like a strange request to make of a future bae, this unique relationship dynamic is more popular than you might imagine. Sugar dating, a setup in which one partner receives financial support and gifts from the other. It’s a one-way stream. The so-called sugar baby only receives money and gifts, without having to return the favour.
Sugar daddies tend to be older men, sugar babies tend to be younger women, and usually both sides know exactly what they're signing up for. There will always be exceptions to this rule, but it tends to follow the traditional setup of a man being a provider while a woman offers company.
But is “sugaring” just another name for sex work? And where do sugar babies stand legally? At Echo by Etaira, we took a look at the latest research and spoke to psychologists with firsthand experience in the sugar relationship field. Here’s everything you need to know about the setup.
A New Name for an Old Arrangement
Sara Sloan, a marriage and family therapist and AASECT-certified sex therapist, explains that there’s a reason for leaving the relationship undefined. It means both people treat it as a fantasy while still leaving the door open for something real to emerge over time. She's previously worked with couples who met while sugaring and went on to have a more traditional setup, like marrying and having kids. As she explains, the dynamic is similar to a trad-wife marriage or a 24/7 BDSM relationship: both sides agree on the roles before they play them.
Whether this type of companionship actually creates distance from sex-work stigma or not often depends on who's involved. “Many sugar babies may be strippers or escorts that are used to the exchanging of emotion and sex for money and care giving,” says Sloan. “It's a structure these women and the men they find know how to understand. For other women, they are looking for a man who both agrees and understands that he will be in charge of monetarily funding both their lives, if they enter into a relationship.”
It’s not just sex workers who are drawn to sugaring relationships. There’s also a trend of university students signing up to sugaring websites to find potential sugar daddies.
Why Students are Attracted to Sugaring
Living in the UK is far from cheap. In August 2026, 55% of British adults reported an increase in their cost of living, compared to the previous month. Everything from the price of fuel and groceries to childcare and public transport has shot up. While we’re all feeling the squeeze, students tend to fare worse than most. While they do get maintenance loans to help, a recent survey found these fall more than £500 short of covering monthly student living expenses.
Researcher Rocío Palomeque Recio from Nottingham Trent University interviewed seven university students who'd engaged in sugar relationships, publishing her findings in Gender and Education in 2022. Every woman she spoke to pointed out the same thing. Their loans were not enough to cover the cost of their food, bills, and rent. While the appeal of a nicer lifestyle came up too, it was not the driving force. Rather than chasing designer handbags, these students were primarily looking for a way to make ends meet.
However, Save the Student reports that only 3% of UK students would engage in sex work in a cash crisis. While there’s no solid data on the students currently involved in sugaring, it may be those doing it don’t view it as traditional “sex work”. And, in some cases, neither does the law.
What the UK Law Actually Says
In the UK, the exchange of sexual services for money is completely legal, except for in Northern Ireland. However, the Sexual Offences Act 2003 criminalises specific things around it including inciting prostitution for gain, controlling it for gain, and keeping a brothel.
Sugar dating platforms build their terms of service into that exact gap. They frame the exchange as financial support within a relationship rather than payment tied to a specific act. Rather than trading a certain sexual service for a fee, sugar daddies and babies enter into a relationship. The agreement is far more vague, with the daddy expected to offer money, perks, and gifts.
Additionally, sugar relationships don’t tend to have contracts. The sugar baby and daddy will likely never have a clear outline of what is being traded, which leaves the arrangement in murky waters. Instead, the two may aim to build trust gradually as they get to know one another. While a lack of agreement may sound appealing, it can mean that it’s unclear what each partner is expected to offer. However, it’s also the element that sets it apart from standard sex work.
The Allure of Being a Sugar Baby
Given that there’s no such protection in place, you may be wondering why it is young women willingly enter into sugar dynamics. Yes, the money is certainly part of the attraction, but Sloan says that there’s more to the attraction than first meets the eye. Status, too, plays a role here.
“Many women are drawn to dating a rich man,” she explains. “Dating a rich man in today's culture suggests the woman has her own power, both in her ability to get a high value mate, as well as the borrowed power she gains through access to his money, his friends, and network.”
Foley explains that modern culture is set up to support exactly this type of arrangement. “Our current materialist and self-based culture has made relationships with explicit financial expectations more socially acceptable,” he adds. “Those two concepts are about a place in life each party is at right now, and not about any journey they take, alone or together."
As he puts it, it’s the culmination of the ‘provider men’ and the ‘soft life’ ideals. “Sugaring is the most extreme relationship example of wanting something now,” he explains. For the women that engage in sugar relationships, they get access to financial support and luxuries that may otherwise be out of reach to them. Men who become sugar daddies gain a relationship with a younger woman in exchange for financial payments, rather than having to chase her.
The Dangers of this Power Dynamic
James Foley, a psychotherapist who's treated people acting out sugar behaviour for decades, says the power balance is shakier than it looks from outside. In his clinical work, he supports people in transactional relationships, even aiding them in some of the more extreme consequences including arrest, divorce, and blackmail. The power dynamic, at least at the start, is straightforward. The sugar daddy holds the finances, meaning they naturally have the edge. However, when he starts to fall for the sugar baby, the tables can quickly turn.
“The power dynamics are not static, because of money the daddy starts with leverage, but things change when the daddy gets emotionally attached, and he loses leverage fast,” says Foley. “Even in the beginning, if she does not like what is offered, there are more men available, she has no reason she has to fold to his leverage.”
Since there’s no agreement in place, what each party expects can quickly change. “Men who sign up for sugar babies have the illusion that the 8,000 a month they agreed to pay will be the economic cost, not knowing that there will be “asks” for luxury items such as Rolex’s and Hermès Birkin bags, luxury vacations, money to pay some relatives tuition, and an infinite number of other things that will be added should he stay in that ‘relationship,’” Foley explains.
Of course, it’s not only the men’s bank balances that are at risk here. If the sugar baby is using the finances to cover their basic living expenses, as Recio’s small-scale research suggests, they could be putting themselves at risk. Without the support of their sugar daddy, they will struggle to make ends meet. That moves the narrative away from this being an “empowered choice” or some kind of feminist movement. In the wrong circumstances, sugar babies can swiftly become financially reliant on their sugar daddies. Money isn't a neutral topic once someone needs it to avoid homelessness, and sugar daddies could use that to their advantage.
While the chance of exploitation is present in any relationship, it becomes more likely when one person financially relies on the other. One study found that when women lose their jobs, their risk of domestic abuse goes up. The opposite is true when men lose their jobs. Researchers read that as proof money, or the lack of it, has the power to make someone vulnerable in a romantic relationship. Since financial support is at the centre of sugar relations, it’s worth keeping in mind that, in the wrong hands, this can be a catalyst for coercive control.
Whether that ambiguity favours the sugar baby or exposes her depends entirely on who's more dependent by the end of the agreement. A student topping up her loan can always walk away from a bad deal, but should she become reliant on the cash-flow, that becomes harder. A sugar daddy, on the other hand, starts the relationship holding every card. However, that grip loosens the moment he stops seeing it as an arrangement and starts seeing it as a relationship. Once that happens, he can quickly become the one with more to lose.